How to Order Stuff

Madame doesn't have a shopping cart.  I used to have PayPal buttons, but they don't want their service being used for sales of adult items.  Yeah, it sucks, but whaddaya gonna do?  It's their company (or more accurately, it's eBay's company) and they can make whatever rules they like.  I'm not ready to get my own merchant account to take credit cards - they're expensive, so I'd have to really raise my prices to cover the cost. 

So here's how we're going to do it for the time being.  Email me and let me know what you're interested in.   I'll get back to you - generally within 24 hours, unless I'm away from home for a bit - and let you know what the total will be for your order and give you any information you may need for payment.  Yes, it's cumbersome, but with the money you save on just a couple of toys you could buy another toy!

IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE UNITED STATES and want to order an item, please email me and let's talk about it a bit. The cost of shipping overseas and the customs duties and all of that are pretty steep - 2 to 5 times what I'm ready to absorb at the prices I'm asking for the toys. If you're willing to pay them, I'll check into it and let you know what the total will be, but chances are they will turn a relatively inexpensive toy into a moderately expensive one.

I don't take personal checks unless I know you personally. This is for your benefit as well as for mine - if I take checks from strangers, I'm bound to get bad ones, and then I'll have to increase my prices to cover that. You don't want to pay more because someone else is a jerk, and I don't want to charge you more for it, either.

Shipping is via USPS Priority Mail. I will ship your order the next business days following receipt of payment. If it's going to be longer than that (it shouldn't be, but if it is), I'll let you know.

WARRANTIES AND DISCLAIMERS

We live in the age of warranties and disclaimers. Not a bad thing, really, to have the responsibilities in a relationship all spelled out up front. So here it is - the terms under which we shall enter into this vendor-customer relationship. Yeah, I wrote them and you haven't really had any input (although if you have any, just let me know) but I think you will find that I have your interests in mind as well as my own.

WARRANTY

It's my goal to make my stuff so well that no one will ever have to use the warranty, but I am pragmatic enough to understand that these things will happen.

I stand behind my work. Any toy you buy from me comes with a two year warranty against defects in workmanship. If it busts because I didn't put it together well enough, I will repair it or replace it. If I can't repair it to like-new condition (and I'll be as picky about that as you would be), I will replace it. If I can't replace it with an identical item, I will replace it with an item of your choosing of the same price. I will also pay for shipping both ways.

For as long as Madame Giggles' Whack Shack exists, I will remain easy for my customers to find. You'll be able to get ahold of me. If any of my contact information changes, I'll let my customers know right away. That's assuming that you keep me abreast of changes in your contact information. Should Madame Giggles' Whack Shack cease to exist, I will keep my customers informed of my whereabouts (if you'll keep me informed of yours) for at least 2 years so that I can take care of any warranty or repair issues that arise. Doesn't sound as splashy as "Lifetime Warranty!", but it's a lot more realistic. What does "Lifetime Warranty" mean, anyway? Your life? My life? Life of the toy? But I digress...
 

REPAIRS

If you break a toy, I can try to repair it for you. It is not always possible to repair broken toys.  If you'll send me the broken toy, I'll take a look at it then let you know what I can do and how much it will cost to do it. If you can send me some good, clear pictures of the damage, I may be able to give you a repair estimate via email. You can decide whether it's worth it or not. I'll try to give you a couple options. You're responsible for shipping both ways. If you're sending a toy in for me to have a look at, you'll want to include return postage.
 

REFUNDS

The only circumstances under which I will offer a refund is if the toy is damaged in shipment or if there is a defect in workmanship and the toy cannot be repaired or replaced with an identical item and there is no acceptable substitute.  For as long as I've been in the working world, customer service has been a big part of my professional life. I love happy customers - when someone lets me know I've exceeded their expectations it makes my day. However, I know that good customer service cannot extend to giving away the store, therefore, I cannot take returns for any reason other than those outlined above. I have to assume that any returned toy has been used, and I cannot resell a used toy. The prices for my toys are such that I can't afford to buy them back and throw them away.

All of my toys are exactly as described and depicted on the website. To me, good salesmanship means I tell you exactly what you're getting with no embellishments. If I say it's leather, it's good quality top grain or full grain leather, not "bonded" leather, or vinyl. If I say it's got 24 falls, there will be 24, not 22 or 23. If you're unsure whether a particular toy is just what you're looking for, please shoot me an email. I can give you a better description, send you some more detailed pictures of the item, answer any questions you may have. I want you to be pleased with any item you purchase from me.

DISCLAIMER

It is up to you to acquaint yourself with basic safety information. If you play irresponsibly with toys you buy from me and injure yourself or your partner, I am not liable for damages.

There are many books and websites with safety information. I'll be putting a list of some of those here someday, but in the meantime, you can go to Greenery Press to find some great how-to kink books.



PRIVACY STATEMENT

I hate spam with a passion, and will never sell my customers' contact information to anyone, under any circumstances. If Madame Giggles' Whack Shack becomes wildly successful and gets bought out by a multinational perv-ware conglomerate, my customer list will not be part of the deal. Yeah, I don't think it will happen, either, but as a customer, this is what I would like from the companies I do business with, so that's what I'm going to do for my customers.  I will only do with your personal information that which you have explicitly given me permission to do.